Encounters of the Not-So-Great-Kind

Most of my interactions with people are wonderful. I have wonderful friends. An amazing family. Loving in-laws. A great spouse. Caring co-workers. But every once and a great while, I will have an encounter that is stingingly un-great. Like a screaming ball out of left field they hit with impact and without warning. Someone’s words or actions slice. And slice deep.

Every now and then I have an encounter of the not-so-great-kind.

I must admit that I haven’t always been amazing at handling hurt. In the past if someone hurt me, my first was inclination to lash back, and to leave no prisoners. I knew I had a sharper tongue and a quicker bite, and in effort to protect myself I would attempt to wound my victimizer(s) heartlessly. I would shut-out that friend completely. Locking my heart down so that they could never get close enough to see it again. These interactions never went well, and the friendships surely never ended well.

Over the years, I have come to handle woundings in a different way, where God is my chief referee in a game I won’t win otherwise. David, a man with plenty of enemies, slanderers and victimizers understands and gives light to our issue. In Psalm 37 he writes:

Do not fret because of evildoers,
Be not envious toward wrongdoers.
For they will wither quickly like the grass
And fade like the green herb.
Trust in the Lord and do good;
Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness.
Delight yourself in the Lord;
And He will give you the desires of your heart.

We will all be given wounds. An email will come in with a biting tone. Eyes will be rolled in our presence. Our joyful “hello” will fade into oblivion as a curt reply is said in return. A co-worker will ignore us. A gossip chain may include your name. A passerby will disregard our personhood.  A spouse won’t take the time. A friend will defy our hearts and wound us deeply.

We will all be given wounds. What we do with that wound, though, is up to us.

David writes simply to not “fret” about the evildoers in our life. Not fret meaning, while the hurt is still there, our job is not to worry about their outcome. Instead, our job is to carry the wound to Jesus. More succinctly, David writes, after we have been victimized, to “dwell” in the land of faithfulness. Just because we are hurt doesn’t mean we hurt in return. We dwell in a higher plain. With a higher call. David says simply, even when others do harm… do good. 

Wounds, it would seem, speak more of the wounder than they do of the wounded. Now when I am hurt, I immediately carry my hurt to Jesus. I don’t lash out, but instead I give space, and forgiveness and a care for that person they most likely don’t deserve. I do this because I care about them, but I also care about myself. I want my heart to be free of malice and free in general. And so I dwell in higher places, and I care for those who are uncaring.

Lastly, I leave the results to Him.

God says that if I delight in Him, despite the current circumstances or people, that He will be the carrier of my future. The injurers in my life aren’t my fortune-tellers unless I allow them to be. Not only that, but according to David, things never turn out well for the injurer. If I want God’s blessing, I don’t injure back. I pray, I delight, I forgive, and I honor. I dwell in the land of faithfulness.

May you be a blessing to others in your life. May you care and honor in all circumstances. May your heart be defined by His love. And when encounters come of the not-so-good-kind, may you dwell in the higher places.

Be a creator of wonderful encounters.

Sifting

I started making pies recently. My mom is an incredible cook; Betty Crocker meets dietitian. Yummy and good for you. I kid you not – my mother may be an angel. That’s how good she is at cooking (and other things.) Anyway. While most of her stuff was healthy… My mom makes a mean apple pie. It’s not too saucy and just sweet enough. The crust is flaky and slightly salty. It’s ridiculous, this pie. I decided two Thanksgivings ago I wanted to follow in her footsteps, and that holiday set about making a pie: crust and all.

For those of you who have never made a pie crust, first of all, good for you. You are smart for avoiding it. It is tedious and frustrating. Truly. You start by sifting mountains of flour, combining miniscule amounts of baking ingredients in precise fashion. Then, you mush it all into a ball and then roll it out. If you touch the crust too much it falls apart. If you use too much flour it falls apart. If you use too much water it gets sticky, coagulates… and… falls apart. If you look at it wrong… you get the picture.

One crazy step (or at least for the pie-crust-challenged) is sifting the flour. The first time I did it I did it with a wire colander and spoon. To which you should say to me, “idiot.” Because I was. It took like 9 hours or something to sift the flour.

My girlfriend, hearing of my idiotic strife bought me a sifter as a present to help me in my plight, er, pie… but it was still difficult. I sat for a while crunching the handle on my sifter until all the flour was through.

In the end – it worked well. I had light, fluffy, pie-making flour.

But wow. What a process. The outcome is awesome… but seriously.

WHAT a process.

Sifting, with or without the proper tools is a long process. It’s tedious. And half way through you have to remind yourself that the end-goal is worth it. That pie’s gonna be a ‘beaut.

The end will be worth it. And you hammer through.

I read this today: “Satan has asked to sift all of you as wheat.”

I’m sorry, what? Satan asked to sift me?

“But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.” – Luke 22: 31-32

I would bet if you are reading this right now, you are experiencing a type of friction in your life. A trial of some kind that has been long and difficult. A bummer of a job. A frustrating financial scenario. A tumultuous relationship. A co-worker at your job that hassles and harasses you. Endless job interviews with painful rejection letters. A distant teenager. A mother-in-law who is uncaring. A dream that ended. A dream that never birthed at all.

I would say, based on the verse we just read and based on experience, that you are not just experiencing an ambiguous hard time. You are experiencing a sifting.

Only the goal isn’t fluffy flour.

The goal is a tender, beautiful, surrendered heart.

In the middle of these times, it feels ambiguous and endless… and my goodness discouraging. You clench your teeth as you go to greet the co-worker, you say a quick prayer before talking to the teen, you take a deep breath before opening the email from the potential job. You read verses to keep positive, set your eyes on things above, remind yourself of God’s promises. But sometimes, your heart is just getting a beat down. Or so it seems.

Maybe it’s not being beaten. Maybe it’s being sifted.

Here, in the middle of the book of Luke, Jesus is comforting us, and giving us a secret to be held close. Hard times aren’t really hard times at all, but preparation. While Satan has come to “sift” us, perhaps with poor intent, Jesus has promised us the end game: a sifted heart, a comforted heart, and a ministry to match.

The discouragement we feel is met by prayers from our sweet Jesus. The ambiguity is met by His purposes. The frustration is met by a promise: I see it. I allowed it. I’m praying for you…

And you’ll come out stronger for it.

Our hearts, while probably mostly we just feel pain, are undergoing deep surgery. God is refining, realigning and bringing renewal. The goal of sifting is to create a different, softer, more intricate and useful thing in the end. Beautiful, soft and light and built with a purpose. That’s how our hearts turn out in the end.

May you trust in the Lord who is aware of your circumstance right now. May you trust in Him who allowed it. May you trust Him to refine you. To make you new. To make you different. And may you later return to your brothers and sisters to strengthen them with your new, brilliant heart.

Decision Making 101

Decision Making. The largest gift and probably the plague of this generation of up-and-coming young professionals. While partially I think it’s our own fault, on a larger scale I think decisions are truly harder today than they were 80 years ago.

As a young adult today, you are no longer just faced with either/or decisions. You either A.) work at your father’s mechanic shop or B.) you apprentice with the accountant down the street. Either/or decisions, at least for today’s 20-something, exit the moment they graduate from school.

The typical young adult today will be faced with hundreds of options the moment they receive their diploma. You could further your education. You could get married. You could join the army and travel. You could pursue a high paying job, or start a non-profit. As a woman, your choices are no longer set in 1945. You can go to college if you want, grad school. You can get high paying jobs, work part-time and start a family. Work full-time and start a family. Guys too. You could work, or be a stay-at-home dad. You could pursue the arts, study botany, become a day-trader, become a hippie, work for your dad, work for your neighbor, get on welfare, move out of the house, stay with the folks, wait tables or travel the world.

The world is your oyster.

So why are 20-somethings so afraid?

I think the largest fear, if I had to guess, is this proverbial idea of God’s specific will, or rather “missing out” on God’s will. Without going into a ton of detail, (we will save it for a later post), I believe this fear is without stock. The Bible is clear that God’s “will” is for everyone to be saved, for people to marry believers, for us to flee from sin and the like. His will is rarely if ever talked about in the fashion we talk about today: “Is God’s will for me to move to Botswana or marry Roger?”

While it would probably be nice if God lit up a highway sign with His “will” for you, (“JOSH: TAKE THE JOB IN SAN DIEGO.”) that’s truly not the way it works in scripture, and it’s not the way He operates today. God desires for you to be A.) saved, and B.) sanctified. After that… the choice is yours.

Besides, lit up highway signs take very little faith… and without faith, it’s impossible to please God.

So, what about making choices?

The Bible is clear about making wise choices. Moreover, life in Jesus has taught me a few things about pursuing decision making in the Lord. Here’s a few thoughts to take or leave on a Monday:

• Seek Wise Counsel

Seek someone who is living the kind of life you hope to live. If your decision is about marriage – ask someone whose marriage you admire. If your question is about career, ask someone who handles their professional life with grace and forethought. If it’s about money, ask the debt-free friend. This should go without saying, but do not ask your single buddy your your divorced brother-in-law if you should marry that girl. Don’t ask your broke friend if you should buy that car. Having a consistent and phone-call-away mentor in your life is truly irreplaceable.

Seek wise counsel often.

• Check Your Motives

Motive checking is a great way to see where you really stand with something. In the Psalms, David asks God to search him, and find the anxious thoughts. He asks God if there is an “offensive way” within him. He asks all this right before he asks God to lead him down an “everlasting path”. David is saying – “check your motives, and you’d have a better idea of which path is ‘everlasting'”.

As Andy Stanley asks in a decision making series: Why are you wanting this really? Why do you really want to go to Europe? Why do your really want that lower paying job? Why do you really want to skip that date with that guy? Clear motives give you peace once you make a choice. A clear heart about a scenario will make it easier to truly define what it is you really want.

• Set a Time Limit

This is something that I learned from a friend and wise counselor. When in a crunch to make a decision, set boundaries for yourself. Indecision, while it may seem safe is actually Satan’s playground. Your mind, heart and emotions are all up for grabs as you waiver back and forth between choices. To ease this, remind yourself that God is a God of order, not confusion. (1Cor. 14:33) The more confused you are, the less God is being invited into your equation. Secondly, set a time limit.

I normally give it a couple days to a week. I ask God to quicken my heart to a decision that is good, and to make my heart “come alive” towards one decision over the other. And then I call it. By 9AM on Saturday of next week, I have to choose. No ifs ands or buts. While this may seem formulaic, it allows you to rest in God and His guidance. It is up to Him to quicken your insides towards a resolution, and your only job is to wait on Him.

• Step Out In Courage

I say often that I think courage is akin to faith. Having courage is having guts to step out for a vision that is not yet realized. Once you have made a decision, you go after it. Your heart is no longer allowed to waiver, your mind is no longer allowed to be tossed about. This is the scariest and most rewarding part of the whole deal. Your emotions may flare up at times, but having resolve in your choice is so pleasing to God.  God loves the faithful people. The people who choose and go all-in. As hard as it is to realize – indecision is not wisdom, but cowardice. God receives glory from courageous followers.

• Grace, grace, and more grace. 

Give yourself grace as you walk out the new choice and the new season that comes with it. Truly, making a choice will more often mean that your life becomes harder and less predictable. If you take that job, you will have to move, get a new set of friends, find a way to get home for the holidays and adjust to living alone. If you choose to date that guy, that means you need to let go of your walls, become vulnerable in a way you haven’t before and enjoy the joy and terror of falling in love.

Through all of it, God does not expect you to handle yourself perfectly. And you shouldn’t either. He will give you immense grace through your new season, and He will receive immense glory for your courageous heart.

May you rest in the Lord with your new decisions. May you choose courage over indecision. And may all your choices be used for His kingdom. Amen and Amen.

Sober Judgement

I was talking with a dear friend, pastor and mentor a few weeks ago. I was talking about future goals and ambitions, and commenting about different things I wanted to do. And in my head, these are truly things I think and believe I’m gifted in and should be doing. In true form my friend says, “well, it’s either that your gift exceeds your platform, or you’re not as gifted as you thought.” We both laughed… A lot.

We all sit at home and go nuts over the American Idol first-round auditions. People who are genuinely terrible will get up and sing a truly awful rendition of Adele, and will absolutely believe this is their thing in life. Their gift. Their jam. We all sit at home and chuckle, because it’s  hilarious. My favorite was this woman one time, and her mom. They both were sold out to the idea that tone-def Tammy was American Idol 2010 in the making.

When they left the show they blamed the judges, the show, the network. “They couldn’t see raw talent if it slapped them in the face.” 

For Tammy, and others, seeing themselves soberly that day was difficult. Perhaps even a non-option.

I laughed heartily at those auditions. But the other day, I started wondering, what if everybody has their own American Idol moment?

Like, what if we have times where we really, really don’t regard ourselves with sober judgement?

Paul writes this in Romans:

For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.

In this chapter, Paul is addressing the church as a body. How it operates as a body. How it works as a whole. And the first sentence, right out of the gates is: Watch that ego. You better regard yourself with sober judgement.

He says this when we are regarding ourselves within the body particularly. Like, “thinking you’re better than Bob or Sally is really going to cost you. So… maybe don’t do that.”

He is imploring us to view ourselves honestly.

I think this is hard for a lot of us, because we really do like to think we are doing better than the rest of the body. Like, well, I maybe messed up… but not as messed up as that guy. It’s comforting to know on the winning or losing scale that we are one up. It’s so comforting, that we might even begin to believe falsehoods about ourselves. That we are smarter, more talented, more valued, more awesome than we actually are. If ignorance is bliss, we’d prefer to remain blissfully ignorant in our self-importance.

If failure comes, “it’s those judges” we say. Or the network. Anybody but us.

But I can say from experience that being sober about your abilities and about your insides is a wonderfully freeing thing to do. When you are honest, you get to rest – not in how awesome you are, but how amazing your Savior is. When you are honest, life is not a rat race, but a journey together in grace and service. When you are honest… you’ll have more friends, be more valuable to the body, and probably make a bigger impact.

So, how do you get that honest? Two ways, I believe. First, you have to let the Holy Spirit search you. David prays this in the Psalms – that God would search him, find crappy parts within him, and then lead him in the way everlasting. Secondly, Paul says in Romans that we are to measure ourselves with the faith we have in Jesus. “But rather think of yourself… in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.” Another translation says “measure yourself by the faith God has given you.”

Instead of chalking myself up to my abilities, skills, achievements or ambitions, it’s best when I measure my life by how much faith I have in the Christ, in His purposes, and in His ambitions in my life. If you are hell-bent on measuring yourself, Paul says, measure your faith. Which, incidentally, it says God has given you… so you can’t take credit for that either.

So, do you have an American Idol mentality?

If so, maybe it’s time to regard yourself soberly. Maybe it’s time to accept yourself for what you are. (You should note here: God already accepted you just as you are.) Instead, maybe measure yourself on how much you bank on God’s promises, how often you cash in on His goodness, and how much faith you have in His workings in your world.

For all of us recovering from or about to recover from our Idol pre-madonna mentality: Grace, peace… and sobriety.

What About Your Money?

I think televangelists are onto something.

Before you stop reading this post, let me explain.

They talk a lot about “give, and God will give you more,” “be faithful, and God will give you blessing,” “bless, and be blessed.”

…To which you internally shudder, because we know that sometimes there is a skewing here of “give to our foundation and God will (__________).” “Send us a check and you will (________).” Your red flag is a-wavin’ at this point. You know something is amiss.

There are some of these TV titans that have been found to be a fraud. (Think Tammy Fay Baker’s streaming make-up confessional). I have heard first-hand stories of people taken advantage of by these skewed systems. It angers me to think that our God was misrepresented in this way. And yet…

I think the televangelists are onto something.

In the last 6 months God has been radically leading Jon and I to give more of our money. It started with a Compassion Child in October, then a giving campaign in December, then a re-evaluating of our giving in January. Each time, we stepped up to the plate with prayer, expectancy, and lots and lots of hope. And each time, God knocked it out of the park. We gave faithfully, God truly and overwhelmingly has given us so much more.

Rewind 2 years. Jon and I were knee deep in his current job-loss. We had just closed on a new home two weeks prior, acquired two tiny puppies and now our largest form of income was gone. Gone. To say that our home was filled with anxieties, constant bickering about finances, and troubled hearts would be an understatement. Satan had a hay-day in our marriage as we fought desperately to sort through our finances ourselves.

Slowly, we began forming a new budget. It took months, maybe over a year for us to adjust to the budget. We spent less. We talked a lot about our budget. We re-evaluated. Re-did the math. And said no to countless things. I remember that Christmas being one of the hardest I can ever remember. Everything felt tight. Hard. Pressed. Sometimes hopeless.

See but here’s the thing about really difficult times. While you are muscling through it, doing the best you can, God is working in your life. Unbeknownst to us, God had been molding us into better stewards. What felt like a pressure cooker was actually a refinement process, and Jon and I came out looking better. Way better. Beautiful even.

And then came the fun part. Now that God could trust you with much, he asked for sacrifice. Just because you are ready to steward much does not mean that God will give you much. Not without faith on your part first. And so, he gave us opportunities to give. 

Mind you, we could have not given. We could have gotten cold feet. We could have put it off for another time. Made excuses about how it’s not in the budget. It’s just not a good time. Next time. The guy next to me has way more money. He should do the giving. We can’t now. It’s just too much.

If we had bowed out, I don’t think we would have seen Him do what he’s done in our lives.

Instead, we moved in faith. And God, in His amazing graces, has given us more. MUCH more.

Here we sit, with more in security then we have ever had, a sounder budget than ever, and folks, hear me on this: a peace. More peace than I can explain. Our home is stable and confident, and quietly waiting for God to make the next request of faith. As a friend of mine says, you can’t out-give God.

The challenge now, beloved, it in your hands. I would ask yourself these questions:

• First: Are you trustworthy?

God is obsessed with people who can be diligent in even the littlest of things. Can you be be trusted with your tiny budget? What are you doing with that money from your part-time job? Do you steward your money? Or does your money run you? If all of these things are sounding foriegn: have faith. God is able to make you into an incredible steward.

• Are you ready to step out?

There is no greater adventure then joining God in giving. The key to stepping out is doing it in sound faith. Stepping out may look like reading this post and then immediately giving $300 to a homeless guy. More than likely, however, God is asking you to join Him through prayer, and petition Him to see where He would like you to step out. If you have a spouse, do it together. If you have kids, invite them in the process. Then, when you feel you understand God’s leading – make the choice.

The choice to step out will be met with confidence. Not the other way around.

• Enjoy God’s movement and reload for the next step.

I can honestly say I’m itching for God to ask Jon and I to do something more with our finances. So much so that it may be time to join Him again in prayer, and ask Him where we should trust Him next. It’s so exciting, I swear it’s somewhat addictive.

May God grant you peace if you are in the middle of financial crisis. May you trust Him as He molds you into a steward. And may you trust Him ever more with larger and larger acts of faith. Enjoy the ride!

Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. – Luke 6:38

Illuminate

“But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light” (1 Peter 2:9, NKJV).

What makes you light up?

I ask because I don’t just think this is a feel-good question. I ask because I think that it’s important. More important than we know. So, what makes you light up? Come alive? Feel alive? Stay alive? Radiate life?

What makes you illuminate?

Frederick Buechner writes The place God calls you to is where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet. In one of my favorite books John Eldredge writes that God is calling you wherever you come alive. I would say that God is calling you to the places where you light up.

We live in a world full of dark things. There is no end to the news reels of bad news. People feel more lost and alone then they have in any time during human history. Families are broken faster than they are created. They work endless jobs with aimless ends. The weekends prove to be a let-down for the hope they had stored up all week. People are tired. Or Wandering. Or alone. Or afraid. Or just a little dead on the inside. There’s enough of that in the world.

But what if you found that thing that God made you to do? And what if you lived in that realm of “gladness”? And what if you let God do what God does best – through you?

John in the first chapter of his self-titled book writes that in Christ is light, and that the world did not comprehend it. It may be that the world didn’t comprehend the light… it sure did make a statement though. One thing you can say about the light of the world: He cannot be ignored.

The world needs more people that light up. More people that live in the places of their deepest gladness, the places where they come alive. There’s a deep hunger, as Buechner writes, and that hunger will never be satisfied as long as people who are born to shine keep that amazing light veiled.

So what about you? What’s your deep gladness? What makes you come alive? Where do you illuminate?

Here’s to a day full of you letting God’s light shine through you. I promise you will meet a deep need just by showing up.

Expectant Waiting (Ant Antennas And Such)

Everyone has heard of the term “waiting on the Lord.” Everyone has also probably said it:

“Oh, we really want that house, but we’re just waiting on the Lord.”

“We’re hoping she gets into that school, but you know, we’re just waiting on the Lord.”

“I went on a date with that girl, but I’m waiting on the Lord.”

Sometimes I wonder, though, if we’ve taken the whole “waiting” bit of that sentence as our scapegoat. “Waiting” is our cue to just sit… and wait for the heavenly billboards to glow. “Waiting” means we are in the clear. Free of responsibility until God gives us a Sovereign Surprise.

I don’t however, think that we are to force the hand of God. Push our will and our way until something moves or shakes or gives way. So, what’s the goal then? What does it mean to wait on Him?

Something I have learned a lot in the last 6 months is the art of expectation.

Picture, for a moment, the way ants move about the ground. One antenna on the ant is to the ground, sensing the things directly in front of him. The other antenna, is stretched out ahead of him, looking for the pot-holes or opportunities a few steps down the road.

I have started to view prayer that way.

I wait on the Lord, and I am expecting two things. I’m expecting Him to lead me and give me a sense of what I am dealing with now, and how to react to it. That’s my antenna that’s to the ground. But also while I pray, I also wait on Him for the “out there”. For the future dreams. For the steps 5 years out. For the leadings coming down the road.

When I have expectation, I am waiting on God, but with baited breath for the next chess piece move. “Ask this person for forgiveness.” “Sell that car.” “Start saving for this project.” In expectation, the moment He nudges, I move. And then I wait again. He nudges. I move.

So waiting isn’t just waiting after all.

May you wait on the Lord with large expectations. And may you rest in the fact that His dreams for your life far exceed your own. Keep your antennas out and your heart open.

Until next time,

Surrender To Overcome

I was rock climbing with a friend of mine a few years ago. He was one of those guys who took interest in all sorts of religions: Buddhism, Hinduism, New Age stuff… whatever. I had gotten saved at age 18, and had spent the previous 5 years investigating said religions, and so they weren’t all that interesting to me anymore. But that’s besides the point.

While I was looping my harness my friend asked me what I thought about the “Eastern” concept of “surrendering to overcome”. I’m sure he was hoping it would spiral me into a rabbit trail of deep thoughts, or that I would engage in some philosophical debate.

For me, though, I instantly felt like this reminded me of something. Someone.

“Surrendering to overcome,” I paused, “sounds a lot to me like Jesus.”

My mind wandered to my God-man. I thought of the Uncreated Being, the Maker of all things, the Author, the Perfector, making the decision to become a human. Philippians reminds me that Jesus didn’t just become a human, but became a servant. It talks about how even though He was God, He didn’t use that power and authority for himself, but rather… (this is what the text says): became “nothing.”

The text goes on, and you and I know the story. Jesus (remember, He’s still God) gets falsely accused of a number of things, and then suffers a criminal’s death. Death by crucifixion.

The truth here, is that Jesus could have summoned an army of Angel Ninjas, who would have busted heads and taken names. He could have ascended to a human throne, ruling – not just the Isrealites, but the world.  He’s GOD. He does what he wants.

But, instead, he saves the world by giving it all up.

My friend nodded at my comment, and then said “yeah, I think so too.”

What’s so fabulous about our Jesus, and about Christianity in general – is that we’re the only religion out there whose God came to find us. We don’t need to reach Nirvana. We don’t have to achieve the 7th realm of Heaven. We don’t have to gain His favor.

God came down.

And our response, then, should be the same – surrendering to overcome. Letting go of our pride to move forward. Letting go of control to serve. Losing our lives to find it.

May you walk in the strength and utter amazement of surrender today. And may you be refreshed by a God who gave it all up so you could have it all. And my guess is He has no regrets. He’d do it again.

Be Kind For The Sake of The Gospel

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. – Galatians 5:22-23

Be kinder than necessary,
for everyone you meet is fighting
some kind of battle.
― T.H. Thompson and John Watson

I love me some fruits of the Spirit.

I also love being around people that exude fruits of the Spirit. You know the type: with every interaction they affirm to you more and more that they love you. And that love is genuine. Even when you are in a bad mood, they are understanding and non-judmental. Which then makes you feel sheepish about your current attitude, but still loved. I tweeted yesterday that I think kindness is an underrated fruit of the Spirit.

The thing is, kindness speaks God’s love in a loud way. In a busy world that only has time for the successful or the urgent, kindness shows genuine concern. Respects personhood. Honors. Cares.

The other thing is: you probably know 10 people in your life right now that need special kindness. They are moving through a battle, and the last thing they need is another jerk or judgement to their long list of frustrations. You might be that person that needs an extra does of kindness.

Be genuinely kind today. The contrast will refresh and revive people in need of hope, and will smell of the gospel.

Being Yourself For The Sake of The Gospel

I get embarrassed a lot.

Let me rephrase that: I embarrass the people around me a lot. Yesterday I was on an airport train with 6 of my co-workers. I was exhausted to the point of slap happy.

First off, who is totally themselves around their co-workers? Picture your cubicle-buddy. There’s some law in corporate handbooks that states you need to whittle down your personality to that of a wet towel. Small talk encouraged. Anything about personal life or true feelings bury in a graveyard called 401-K. And for goodness sake, be polite.  This is work. And at work we be the bland, baby food version of ourselves.

Such is the case for me some of the time. But on the train I’m tired. Worn out from traveling, missing home, and ornery. I’m laughing loud at a co-workers jokes and being childish around 40 other people in suits and brief cases and cracking somewhat off colored jokes.

The reality here, is that is really me. I’m a pastor because I care about people a whole lot, and I love, love Jesus. But that’s me. I’m absolutely loud. I love making people laugh. Probably, I love making me laugh even more. If other people laugh, it’s a bonus. But really, I think I’m funny. And for that I may be slightly arrogant. I have more opinions than actual facts about the things I’m pontificating. I’m high strung. I’m an ENFJ. I like South Park. I really, really like Eminem. And cheese. I can be annoying. And, (ahem) crass.

But that’s the true me.

I used to think that to be in ministry I needed to be like the folks I saw on TV or all the pastors I had seen in my life, or all the authors I had read. Wise, self-controlled, calm, power-house men and women. I’m a fairly good actress so I knew I could pull this image off. But, really. That’s not me.

The other week I met with a 20something from my ministry who had gotten saved on Easter Sunday. As she recounted what she was thinking and feeling about the whole ordeal she was so earnest, honest, and… herself. And I was eating it up. It was refreshing to be around her. It was ministering to me to hear her be her. I walked away energized.

I love authentic people. My guess is that it’s not just me. It’s a human thing. Humans love the authentic. And they can smell the stench of fake and facade.

Which leads me to my next point. I started to realize over the coming weeks that being yourself wasn’t just a good thing to do. It is an absolute necessity for your life to showcase the gospel.

I may not be a refined power-house of a preacher. In fact, at this point I’m probably more in that make-a-mistake-and-laugh phase than I am the wise phase. I am, however, me. Quirky. Fun. Engaging. Caring. And slightly self-depricating. And I care an awful lot about God and His word.

The truth is, people like, and are energized by that. And hopefully, it smells of the gospel, and of a God who is creative, saving, and involved.

So what about you? Are you yourself at work? Or are you more watered-down? Do people get a chance to know you? Or do they just see a suit when they meet you. A clean cubicle. A polite weather comment?

What about with your friends?

What about at your (be honest now) church?

Do you be yourself? Or do you breeze past people with a giant smile and can-do attitude of falsity that surely screams: God is good! And Life is the Cleavers!

I’m not saying bawl your eyes out over your financial woes with everyone you meet. I’m not saying you need to be overly engaged or pretentious about being “real”. That’s not the point, and is just another form of religiousness anyway.

What I am saying is people love the authentic.

I’m also saying that we live in a world that desperately needs the authentic. It’s seen so many knock-offs and has met the celebrity cookie-cutters. It grows tired of the late-night-talk-show answers that are pre-thought out. The drab, repetitive blogs. The 1,000th Christian Inspiration Book about being more awesome. It’s Brave New Worldish. And people are tired of buying it.

For the believer, authentic is the newest commandment.  Why? Being yourself is the gateway to sharing the gospel.

Here’s a couple questions I thought of today. Do yourself a favor and answer them. Love yourself enough to be candid:

1. Who are you?

What are the things that for better or worse, make you – you. The things you know are inherent from birth. The smudge-marks and paint stokes of your Creator?

1. Where do you muffle yourself for the sake of blending in?

The question isn’t do you muffle yourself. The question is where. What you’re muffling is your own business, and I’m guessing God is speaking to you right now about what that is. After you identify the where, maybe start making some decisions about how you want to change that.

1. What’s your story with Jesus?

People are drawn to Jesus for the same reason you were. He’s real. Saving. Refreshingly simple and true. Reflect on your first meeting with your Savior. What did you think? Feel? Know? My guess is, that since then, you have changed, altered and muffled this story in some way to make it sound more… Christian. I would urge you to return to the authentic pieces. And if and when someone asks you what it is that is so refreshing about you…

You’ll be able to give an honest answer.

Until Next Time,