Decision Making. The largest gift and probably the plague of this generation of up-and-coming young professionals. While partially I think it’s our own fault, on a larger scale I think decisions are truly harder today than they were 80 years ago.
As a young adult today, you are no longer just faced with either/or decisions. You either A.) work at your father’s mechanic shop or B.) you apprentice with the accountant down the street. Either/or decisions, at least for today’s 20-something, exit the moment they graduate from school.
The typical young adult today will be faced with hundreds of options the moment they receive their diploma. You could further your education. You could get married. You could join the army and travel. You could pursue a high paying job, or start a non-profit. As a woman, your choices are no longer set in 1945. You can go to college if you want, grad school. You can get high paying jobs, work part-time and start a family. Work full-time and start a family. Guys too. You could work, or be a stay-at-home dad. You could pursue the arts, study botany, become a day-trader, become a hippie, work for your dad, work for your neighbor, get on welfare, move out of the house, stay with the folks, wait tables or travel the world.
The world is your oyster.
So why are 20-somethings so afraid?
I think the largest fear, if I had to guess, is this proverbial idea of God’s specific will, or rather “missing out” on God’s will. Without going into a ton of detail, (we will save it for a later post), I believe this fear is without stock. The Bible is clear that God’s “will” is for everyone to be saved, for people to marry believers, for us to flee from sin and the like. His will is rarely if ever talked about in the fashion we talk about today: “Is God’s will for me to move to Botswana or marry Roger?”
While it would probably be nice if God lit up a highway sign with His “will” for you, (“JOSH: TAKE THE JOB IN SAN DIEGO.”) that’s truly not the way it works in scripture, and it’s not the way He operates today. God desires for you to be A.) saved, and B.) sanctified. After that… the choice is yours.
Besides, lit up highway signs take very little faith… and without faith, it’s impossible to please God.
So, what about making choices?
The Bible is clear about making wise choices. Moreover, life in Jesus has taught me a few things about pursuing decision making in the Lord. Here’s a few thoughts to take or leave on a Monday:
- Seek Wise Counsel
Seek someone who is living the kind of life you hope to live. If your decision is about marriage – ask someone whose marriage you admire. If your question is about career, ask someone who handles their professional life with grace and forethought. If it’s about money, ask the debt-free friend. This should go without saying, but do not ask your single buddy your your divorced brother-in-law if you should marry that girl. Don’t ask your broke friend if you should buy that car. Having a consistent and phone-call-away mentor in your life is truly irreplaceable.
Seek wise counsel often.
- Check Your Motives
Motive checking is a great way to see where you really stand with something. In the Psalms, David asks God to search him, and find the anxious thoughts. He asks God if there is an “offensive way” within him. He asks all this right before he asks God to lead him down an “everlasting path”. David is saying – “check your motives, and you’d have a better idea of which path is ‘everlasting'”.
As Andy Stanley asks in a decision making series: Why are you wanting this really? Why do you really want to go to Europe? Why do your really want that lower paying job? Why do you really want to skip that date with that guy? Clear motives give you peace once you make a choice. A clear heart about a scenario will make it easier to truly define what it is you really want.
- Set a Time Limit
This is something that I learned from a friend and wise counselor. When in a crunch to make a decision, set boundaries for yourself. Indecision, while it may seem safe is actually Satan’s playground. Your mind, heart and emotions are all up for grabs as you waiver back and forth between choices. To ease this, remind yourself that God is a God of order, not confusion. (1Cor. 14:33) The more confused you are, the less God is being invited into your equation. Secondly, set a time limit.
I normally give it a couple days to a week. I ask God to quicken my heart to a decision that is good, and to make my heart “come alive” towards one decision over the other. And then I call it. By 9AM on Saturday of next week, I have to choose. No ifs ands or buts. While this may seem formulaic, it allows you to rest in God and His guidance. It is up to Him to quicken your insides towards a resolution, and your only job is to wait on Him.
- Step Out In Courage
I say often that I think courage is akin to faith. Having courage is having guts to step out for a vision that is not yet realized. Once you have made a decision, you go after it. Your heart is no longer allowed to waiver, your mind is no longer allowed to be tossed about. This is the scariest and most rewarding part of the whole deal. Your emotions may flare up at times, but having resolve in your choice is so pleasing to God. God loves the faithful people. The people who choose and go all-in. As hard as it is to realize – indecision is not wisdom, but cowardice. God receives glory from courageous followers.
- Grace, grace, and more grace.
Give yourself grace as you walk out the new choice and the new season that comes with it. Truly, making a choice will more often mean that your life becomes harder and less predictable. If you take that job, you will have to move, get a new set of friends, find a way to get home for the holidays and adjust to living alone. If you choose to date that guy, that means you need to let go of your walls, become vulnerable in a way you haven’t before and enjoy the joy and terror of falling in love.
Through all of it, God does not expect you to handle yourself perfectly. And you shouldn’t either. He will give you immense grace through your new season, and He will receive immense glory for your courageous heart.
May you rest in the Lord with your new decisions. May you choose courage over indecision. And may all your choices be used for His kingdom. Amen and Amen.
Jessie Davis 