This last Sunday my pastor and friend Chad gave an incredible and compelling message about insecurities, inadequacy, and this little word – “comparison”. Comparison, he quotes Clive Staples Lewis, is the thief of joy. It was one of those church moments where the entire church breathed in a deep breath, and realized that comparison was stealing from them. We felt like victims, and we felt the call to take back what was stolen – our God given value.
I’ve been mulling over the message, and this idea of comparison.
And I’ve realized something since Sunday.
Most of us aren’t really victims of comparison.
We’re creators of it.
Let me explain.
The other day I was listening to a conversation about pregnant women. “Some women just use it as an excuse to gain whatever amount of weight they want!” “Some don’t even work out!” “I just don’t get that. Letting yourself go and all.”
It was a judgemental conversation to be sure. Lines were being drawn on what was “acceptable” and what was “horrid” for these women. The lines were real. Even if you couldn’t see them.
And then I thought to myself, What happens when that person talking crosses their own line?
What happens when we judge… and later – we cross our own line?
I’ve heard people say things like this – heck – I’ve said things like this:
I never eat that kind of fast food. How gross!
Oh, wow. They went to that bar? Huh.
I’ll never understand parents that let their kids run wild.
I absolutely hate people who take forever with their baggage at the TSA check points. We’ve got somewhere to go TOO people!
People are terrible drivers on Sundays!
They think they’re so cool because they have a fancy car!
Oh my gosh – I never shop there. GHE-TTO!
The judgement stacks up. And stacks up. And is stored in our hearts for later usage. Until one day – we cross our own line.
We let your kid run wild. We buy that double cheese-burger. We take a long time at TSA. We end up with a luxury SUV.
And then, the personal judge and jury come forth – to judge you with the judgement we’ve. We created the line. We created the standard of measurement – what we are to “compare” ourselves to. And, like all of humanity. We failed to measure up.
Jesus puts it this way:
Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Mt.7:1-2
Judgement is a tricky road. The thing about judgement, is it hurts you. It hurts me. Much more than the recipient of our judgement. We create massive platforms of measurements when we judge. Huge ultimatums for all types of actions, looks, abilities, and failures. And like the Law of Moses we crash and burn in our efforts to measure to such heights.
We create these terrible comparisons.
Instead – we should be graceful. Merciful. Comfortable enough in our God to say, “even when I don’t agree, I’m not the judge.” And then letting it go. This grace will come back around to us, reminding us that we don’t need to measure ourselves – because God’s our judge.
Don’t create comparisons today by judging others. Free them – and yourself by offering grace, understanding, compassion and love.
Until next time,
Jessie Davis 